Homeschoolers Are Not Judging You

It never fails.  I meet someone new.  I’m at a dinner party, or maybe the line at Safeway.  My new acquaintance finds out we homeschool.  90% of the time their very next statement goes something like this…

“Wow, I could never be that patient!”

~ insert nervous laugh~ “I’d love to do that, but I think we would kill each other.”

Or other variations of “I could never homeschool” that includes some reference to patience, chaotic kids, needing “me-time”, finances, etc…

There is always a hint of defensiveness, or justification in the tone of these comments.

I laugh, nod politely, say something like, “Well, it’s not for everyone.” (Which I do believe) When I really want to scream, “I don't know you. You don't know me. I'm not judging you!” 

Why oh why, do you feel the need to justify to me the fact that you do not homeschool your kids?

Do you think I am judging you because you send your kids to school?

I’m not.  Our decision to homeschool is based on personal decisions and is not some sort of silent judgment on all those who choose school for their children.  It has nothing to do with you!

So please, you may keep these comments to yourself. If you can’t, then at least be honest with your comments. 

The truth is, it is a matter of willingness, not ability.  Homeschooling is not for everyone.  Not all parents are willing to spend that much time with their kids, challenge long held educational paradigms, make financial adjustments, and many other lifestyle modifications that homeschooling entails.  And that is fine.  I don’t pass judgment on your choices.  I don’t think that makes you a worse parent than me.   There are things I am not willing to do for my child!  For example, I hate driving long distances.  If there was some class or club she wanted to do and it is more than a 45 minute drive, I won’t do it. 

You may just think homeschooling is some crazy stupid idea. That’s OK with me too!

As parents, we are all charged with making the best decisions we can for our children.  All of our choices cannot and should not be the same.  We all need the freedom to make the choices we feel are best.

So the next time you meet a new family and find out they homeschool, say you think they are crazy, say you would never want to (not that you can’t) homeschool, say something supportive, ask questions or say nothing at all, because they are not judging you!

Writing a Curriculum Plan

*Series Intro*

*For the past 6 months or so I have been exploring the ins and outs of Relaxed Homeschooling (RHS) and Unschooling (UnS).  In that time I have come to see that my daughter NEEDS this type of learning and education if she is to be who she is meant to be.  Anything else will not support her full development.  My reason for coming up with any kind of plan at all is twofold. This school year we will be moving to a state in which we will be joining an umbrella school.  So, my task here is to come up with a relaxed plan that will meet the requirements of the umbrella school.  Secondly, a dear friend of mine in state that only requires an attendance record for homeschool statute compliance, was accused of educational neglect.  Having never tested her children, and not done much record keeping, it was difficult for her to prove that her children were in deed growing and learning as they should. So now I am a bit paranoid about the remote possibility of this happening to us. If it ever does, by some fluke chance, I will have this plan to back up our efforts.

I've decided to put our plan into a series of posts. Both as a reference for me in the future and with the hope that it might be of help to other homeschool moms! ;)

See all the entries in the series by clicking HERE*

Writing a Curriculum Plan - Part 2

Just when I get used to not thinking in terms school subjects, we are moving to a state were I must list subjects, have a plan for each subject and report grades and attendance twice a year.  (Grades? More on that in a later post).  If you are reading a biography about an Egyptian Pharaoh is that literature, history, science, or art? Guess what? It's all of them!  Life is not compartmentalized into subject boxes and learning isn't either.

The key here is to think in general terms of what you might do in each subject area. The best example I have seen of this is the Acme Academy Course of Study on Sandra Dodd's Website.  Go read it, I'll wait...

I adapted this and wrote one for us.  I was even sneaker and changed "will include" to "may include". That way I am not committing us to doing anything in particular.  Here is a link to the one I came up with. Feel free to download it and change it as you wish. 

Ok, so that was a really detailed plan that anyone would have a hard time challenging as a solid curriculum plan.  But I needed something much more practical. Something that I could go to that was more specific. So I came up with this.

Course Descriptions for 2013-2014

Math:

Student will review lower-level math fundamentals and gain skill in subjects such as geometry and pre-algebra corresponding to her ability.

Resources: Life of Fred, Intermediate series, Fractions, Decimals & Percents

Language Arts:

Student will gain skill in the areas of reading, writing, speaking and listening.  Methods used include: student and teacher chosen literature, writing within context of study topics and creative pursuits, discussing literature, and family read alouds.

Resources: The Library! ;), Don't Forget to Write for writing ideas, lot's of other ideas on my Writing Pinterest Board, this awesome blog series on Becoming a Writing Mentor to Your Child. 

Science:

Science will be addressed within the context of student interest.  Inquiry, reading, videos, fieldtrips, time in nature will all be employed in this area.

Resources: Lots of Youtube & other videos, hiking, maybe nature journaling, we also have a lot of science resource books around the house.  

Social Studies:

Social studies, history and geography will be addressed within the context of student interest.  Research, time-lines, biography, historical fiction, various texts, videos, and fieldtrips will all be employed in this area.

Resources: The Library again, All Through the Ages - A History through Literature Guide (Awesome!), The Mystery of History (MOH) - I use this as a read aloud a couple times a week and skip around, we usually don't do the activities.

Health & Physical Education:

Health and physical education is fully integrated as a part of daily living skills and participation in the wider community with an emphasis upon the physical activities that may be conducive to health and vigor of body and mind. Activities will include skiing, hiking and ice-skating. 

Resources: Our own 2 feet, a couple books on puberty

Fine Arts:
Student will develop her knowledge of art, music and drama through informal and structured methods in a variety of ways, including: attending concerts and plays, possible art classes, choral singing, listening to various styles of music, and studying fashion and design.

Resources: This will focus mainly on fashion. Her one big passion right now. Lots of Pinterest & Youtube! Sketch book & drawing utensils, we are looking for a choir/chorus to join and will go to concerts and plays.

Below is a basic plan for implementing the above:

• We begin each day with me reading aloud. We have done this ever since La showed an interest in books. We usually pick these books together. We cover lots of classics this way.
• After read aloud, we have what I call "sharing time" in my head, but never give it a label out load (I can just hear her complaining how "preschool" it sounds, LOL!). It really is a big kid version of preschool circle time. I just transition into it naturally. This is where I share something that I think is really cool. It could be a second read-aloud, a video, a game, anything really. These things may or may not have to do with her current interests, but it is something that I am genuinely interested in. She may or may not find it interesting, but many of her interests have been sparked this way in the past. I keep this pretty short, too. No longer than 20 minutes.  It's the one treachery thing I do and I don't do it everyday, but most days.
• Strewing - This is basically providing resources that enhance current interests. No strings attached!  Please read this blog post series, The Art of Strewing or buy her ebook Here.  You can get it for $1.61! Totally worth it! 
• We will do Life of Fred together 3 times a week. This is her idea and she asked me to hold her to it.  I can't say that she is really interested in math, but feels as though she needs to learn it.  She also said she wants a little more structure, so some what formal math 3x a week it is. 
• After this she will work on whatever interests her. I made a list of "Things to do When You Can’t Think of Anything to Do"  (☜ click to view and download it) which she said is too long.  But it will be there if she just can't think of anything she wants to do. 
• Each week La will write something, anything. She doesn't like to write.  If her pursuits don't naturally involve writing, I am going to require she writes something for me to review each week. (OK, so this is the second teachery thing I am doing) Right now she is agreeing to this. I am adding this requirement because she never writes and I am worried about her not gaining sufficient writing skill.  So, we'll see how this goes ...
• I made a Weekly Summary Report (☜ click to view and download it) for her to fill out each week. It's pretty simple and I want her to start keeping her own records so she can take it over in the High School years. 

So that's the basics of our plan this year.  Right now it's as unschoolish as I am comfortable with.  I may loosen up even more as the year goes on.  We will see...  My next post will be about my plans for record keeping.  The left side of my brain really likes that topic! ;)

I added this post to iHomeschool Network's Not Back to School Blog Hop.  There you can check out how many other homeschoolers are approaching their own unique education!

Long Term Relaxed Homeschooling (RHS) Goals

*Series Intro*

*For the past 6 months or so I have been exploring the ins and outs of Relaxed Homeschooling (RHS) and Unschooling (UnS).  In that time I have come to see that my daughter NEEDS this type of learning and education if she is to be who she is meant to be.  Anything else will not support her full development.  My reason for coming up with any kind of plan at all is twofold. This school year we will be moving to a state in which we will be joining an umbrella school.  So, my task here is to come up with a relaxed plan that will meet the requirements of the umbrella school.  Secondly, a dear friend of mine in state that only requires an attendance record for homeschool statute compliance, was accused of educational neglect.  Having never tested her children, and not done much record keeping, it was difficult for her to prove that her children were in deed growing and learning as they should. So now I am a bit paranoid about the remote possibility of this happening to us. If it ever does, by some fluke chance, I will have this plan to back up our efforts.

I've decided to put our plan into a series of posts. Both as a reference for me in the future and with the hope that it might be of help to other homeschool moms! ;)

See all the entries in the series by clicking HERE*

Long Term Goals - Part One

Begin with the end in mind.  This is our starting point.  I think we all need to know a little about where we are going on this journey. What skills, knowledge, attributes, habits, etc... do what want your kids to realize before they leave your home? These are tough questions that we all must answer to have any type of path.  I highly recommend you get this little booklet titled, Relaxed Record Keeping by Mary Hood, Ph.D.  You can get it the ARCHERS website and lots of other great resources too.

I used her guidelines to come up with our own Long Term Goals.

Long-Term Home Education Goals

Values:
• Biblical values. We accomplish this through Bible reading,
discussion, problem solving together, and parental modeling.

Attitudes:
• Develop a life-long love of learning
• Enough organization to accomplish life goals
• Respect for others
• Perseverance in adversity
• Optimism

Habits:
• Cleanliness
• Finding out what you don’t know
• How to fill your time
• Getting work done when it’s needed
• Reading regularly
• Work on something you don't really like to achieve something
   you want
• Checking habits for results

Skills:
• Communication -reading, writing, speaking & listening
• Enough mathematic skills for her goals
• How to find out what you need to know
  and then finding it out
• Test taking skills
• Goal setting skills

Talents & Interests:
• Find out what these are
• Pursue them
• Learn to work hard and in depth at something you love
• Internships
• Lots of exposure to different things
• Have a way to earn income by the time she leaves the house

Knowledge:
• Mainly dictated by talents & interests
• Grounding in History
• Grounding in Basic Science

As you can see these broad and basic, yet how they are accomplished will be specific and individualized for La.  I hope that these goals will be tool for making future plans and decisions.

We are Hackschooling

The past few months I've been doing a lot of thinking, praying and reading about relaxed, unschoolish education ideas.  I have decided we really aren't unschoolers.  10 years ago I might have used that term and been comfortable with it, but not anymore. I find that it carries too much baggage from unschooling gurus and other philosophies that have been attached to the idea, which was once a purely educational philosophy.  Now it seems you can't call yourself an unschooler if you limit screen time, maintain parental authority, or use a text book at all. The unschool movement, once a movement in educational freedom, has become a movement rich in it's own dogmatic ideals, full of contradiction and judgment of those who do not agree.  The only unschool place where I have found that this does not happen is the Christian Unschooling Facebook Group.  This group has been very helpful to me!

I think the best name for what we are doing is Hackschooling or Hackademics.  What I mean by this is that we do what works.  We set goals based on interests and talents, not standards.  We use what best suites us to reach those goals.  Anything that works is good; books, classes, clubs, internships, even text books. We think less and less within the context of school subjects and think more and more in the terms of life goals and purpose.  This is a true education to me! Below is a talk given by a 13 year old young man that really explains it well. Enjoy it!

Baby Breeches

I have seen these cute pants being used as photo props so I thought I'd give it a shot.  They were so easy once I started! This pattern is written for Newborn but I included some general instructions about making it bigger. They are so versatile too! You could use this pattern in lots of ways.  Here are some ideas.

For a daiper cover, stop after the first leg row.  For shorts make the legs 3 or 4 rows, for capris make the legs 5 or 6 rows long.

You could add suspenders, or a front bib and suspenders for overalls.

You could add butt ruffles or sew on butt pockets.

Oh, how about a little old fashioned “trap door” on the butt!

These would be really cute for a girl if you leave off the last three leg rows and add a scalloped edge instead.

You could make bell-bottoms by increaseing in the inner and outer “seam” area of the bottom of the legs. 

I think they would look great worked in linked double crochet! I just found this stitch and I really like the look of it. It also makes a more connected fabric without the gaps you get between stitches in double crochet. 

The choices are endless!  Have fun!!!

Please share what you make from this pattern! Also let me know how the sizing works as I have not tried it on a baby! :)

Download the pattern on Crafsty HERE

Download the pattern on Ravelry HERE

Almost Unschooling

It's been a month since my last post about dropping our curriculum.  It's been a very fun month of exploring new and old ideas about education for me.  I have been reading many blogs, websites and books. Here are a few of the resources I have been devouring
Books -
Christian Unschooling by Teri J Brown
The Joyful Home Schooler by Mary Hood, Ph.D.
Wisdom's Way of Learning 4 Booklet Set by Marilyn Howshall

Websites-
http://www.christianunschooling.com/  and their Facebook Page
http://livingjoyfully.ca/
http://www.archersforthelord.org/ and their Facebook Page

Through all of this I have come to some conclusions.

• I have no desire to reproduce any methods of learning used in schools!  None of these methods are based on active, interest lead learning. I have no interests in text books or teacher directed lessons or projects.  These methods do not produce real learning.  Things forced are never remembered long term.  
• My role as a homeschool mom can be described as mentor, resource manager, and cheer-leader - not as a teacher.  
• The only way to approach this kind of education is through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Without the Lord in the center, this type of education becomes self-centered.
• A relaxed approach to education is the best fit for my daughter's learning style and personality.

I have also learned much about my daughter the last few weeks.  

• Her main ways of learning are through creative pursuits and taking in visual information through books and videos
• Without the stress of forced lessons, we get along MUCH better.  We have had very few disagreements and she had been much more conversational.  
• She is even more creatively bent that I realized! She seems to almost always be creating something - nail art, an outfit, drawing, rearranging her room, etc...  She also spends a lot of time looking at things other people have created on Youtube and Pinterest.  This is one of her major gifting.
• She has a great memory!

La's Original Nail Art

I titled this post Almost Unschooling because there are some aspects of Unschooling I do not agree with.  As I have read, I learned that most Unschoolers do not limit TV & video games.  The rational is that kids will eventually self-regulate these mediums when they are not "forbidden fruit" and that these are actually valuable learning tools.  While I agree with these two points somewhat, I am not willing to let my child binge on TV for 9 months while I wait for her to self-regulate.  I believe that yes, TV & videos games have learning value, but they take up the time that could be spent on active learning that has even more value.  Also, I do not think all TV programs and all video games have equal value.  Secondly, many Unschoolers seem to subscribe to a democratic parenting process where parents do not have authority over their children.  This does not work for my husband or myself.  I do believe in letting children of all ages express their opinions and feelings in a respectful manner. I do believe that their opinions and feelings need to validated. I also believe that parents have the final word on decisions for the family.  A four year old may not be able to reason that he has eaten enough sugar and needs to stop.  That's what his parents are for.  I believe in Authoritative Parenting, not Authoritarian or Permissive.  Clear boundaries, logical and natural consequences, love, affection, and respect.  

There are still a lot of things I am questioning.  Whenever I want to say no to La, I am questioning why I want to say no.  I am saying yes more often and we are having fun.  Every time the word "should" pops into my head with regards to schoolish things I ask myself why I am "shoulding on myself" ;).  Usually it's my years of school programming talking.  I know I will be adding some sort of structure to our educational efforts.  I am just not sure what that will look like yet.  It may just be some guided goal setting ...

I have been journalling what we have been doing every week.  Below is this week's summary.  I write it up in narrative form and then on the right I put the school subjects that go along with each paragraph.  I need to do an evaluation at the end of the school year, so I am doing this to help in that.  This week I found it harder to think in school subjects.  In real-life learning, the lines between school subjects gets blurry very fast!  All subjects in life are so inter-connected it is hard to separate them.  Take archery for example.  I put Physical Education for archery but it is also Science, Math, Social Development Opportunity, Survival Skills and History.  

As you can see there is so much learning happening all the time! This is just a sampling of what we did. There was more. When you think about, I am only guessing at what she actually has learned.  I know what she knows from conversation, but I am not in her head.  I truly believe you can never know exactly what your kids are learning, because you are not them.  

I have a lot more to learn and sort out, but I am truly enjoying this journey!

If It's Broke, Fix it!

photo credit

I knew it wasn't working.  The resistance and tears I got from my daughter told me so.  At first I blamed it on her attitude.  After all, we had never used any kind of curriculum before.  Sure we had used some textbooks, but we used them in a very loose manner. We would read from them when we felt like like. Do the assignments if they seemed interesting.  But last spring when I began thinking about this school year I became worried about "gaps" in her skills and knowledge so, I started searching for a curriculum.

Why did I worry? Looking back I think it was just my daughter's age. We were heading into 6th grade age. Although we have never paid much attention to grade levels.  I was thinking; she needs to learn to write, work on spelling, do more math ... High School years will be here before you know it!

One word describes my motivation - FEAR.  Fear of the "gaps", fear of not having skills needed for college, fear of the judgement of others. Let me just say, this is a bad motivation for anything!!

For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

2 Timothy 1:17

So I found a curriculum I really loved, and still do in concept.  It is based in literature, and the lessons are short and gentle. I really fits my teaching style. Just enough structure, I thought.  We started out OK with it, even liking many parts.  I did a lot of tweaking to it!  But we lost our joy.  School work became something to get over with so we could do what we really wanted to do.  The structure of the lessons became too repetitious.  Some children will love this aspect!  We found it got boring.  It became a struggle.  So we stopped. Abruptly. Now what?

Well, I'm working on defining our plan. I've gone back and reread some books on Leadership Education and Relaxed Homeschooling. Some books about Unschooling too. I had to ask myself, what is the one reason we are doing this? I know homeschoolers have many reasons for choosing this path, but we all have one that is the most important! So I came to our main reason.

To raise my child in a manner which allows her to discover her God given purpose in life and allows her the freedom to pursue that purpose. 

That's it, and it's big! 

How do you accomplish this?  Well, first she needs time to discover herself ... her interests, talents and passions.  These are the areas God has gifted her in. Then she needs time to pursue these. Finally, she needs exposure to lots of different experiences.  How can you know what you are talented or interested in if you have never experienced it?

So we have come to a place of no lessons, no requirements, passion pursuing education.  But still I fear.  Will she ever learn Algebra?  Does she even need it? Can she learn it when it comes up in her pursuit of daily life? if it doesn't come up in "real-life" then why does she need to learn it?  These are the questions I am asking.  I don't have the answers right now. 

The one thing I do know is to not make a decision out of fear. To trust that the Holy Spirit will lead us in these decisions.  Right now I am not sure what our homeschooling will look like next year, but I know it won't look like school!